For my son, when he grows up, this site will be my legacy for him. The decisions his mother and I made for him, to understand them, to learn from them and to lead a life without prejudice and to succeed in it on his own merit.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Jay Leno Be Here

I remembered one particular Jay Leno show some few years back. Most of you who have watched his show might agree with me that his take on every day life including the government are spice with straightforward story telling and humour including those of guests he interviewed in very direct manner and responses the everyday folks in the street are able to understand. During that particular episode, the main guest was a congressman of the United States.

As we know, most, and all actually, politicians have a knack of saying things filled with jargons and bombastic words so much so that they only serve to confuse rather than convince. Jay Leno, of course, being the skillful interpreter that he is, re-delivered those messages to the audience in his own style lacing it further with his sarcastic humour he is famously known for. The audience simply loved him.

Wish we have a Jay Leno in our midst calling on our politicians and for him to gauge the truthfulness and real meaning of their messages and statements. Unfortunately, we do not. But let’s imagine if we do, perhaps even create a parody of some sort how such a personality like him will tackle our politicians on his show.

Let’s name our very own as Jamal Bin Latiff (JBL) and the would be victim, oops, guest politician will be a so called Datuk Ali Mohammed (DAM).

JBL: Welcome Datuk. It’s a privilege to have you on the show.

DAM: Thank you very much for inviting me.

JBL: Datuk, there’s a lot of speculation that your party is embarking on a plan to gain back the confidence of the rakyat after failing from two by-elections. Mind enlightening us what are the plans?

DAM: Well, first of all, we all know why we were unable to recapture those two seats. Our party values and administrations have proven for the last 50 years that we have governed the country well and took it to new heights. The rakyat now demand for more transparencies in our governing and to eliminate corruptions and cronyism. We have in place, actually in it’s final stage, to rebrand our party to be rakyat oriented and align all our leaders to be proactive including accommodating with current and future sentiments when ever it arises. Once the rakyat sees us as the people’s party, I’m sure any further allegations forthcoming will be easily tackled from the proper authority and enforcement.

JBL: You mean throwing the rakyat a brand new slogan saying what you would be doing so that the people will just read it for it’s apparent face value? But the problem highlighted in the past by various organizations, oppositions and even your own party members of the very system of governing that are biased to an elite few. How do you handle this perception?

DAM: Ah, it’s only perception. And perception is a dangerous thing in our country. So far, they were never proven and we still run the country with wealth distributed evenly. That’s why the proper authority and enforcement got to be put in place to ensure that such perceptions are not allowed to spread. Otherwise, it will have a devastating impact on our economy.

JBL: Like invoking the detention without trial so that such perception are suppressed before it gets out of hand. Isn’t that the main problem facing the party now each time someone accuse the party of abuse they are being investigated by the authority on past misdeeds as way back even during their schooling years.

DAM: No, no. you’re twisting everything here. We have to first regulate ourselves and to align among our leaders for a more caring party to society. Those that goes against the fundamental rights of our present constitution and the safeguard of a peaceful nation must be dealt with but with actual existing laws so that their grief are properly handle and rehabilitated to align with our national agenda.

JBL: Isn't that more of national issues than party issues? Well, I don’t know about the audience, but it sounds to me what you’re saying is the party must gang up together to attack the enemy, paint them up as a criminal with every known clauses in our laws then brainwashed them to comply with your party propaganda. Is that how you mean it?

DAM: They are co-related. You can't resolve one without the other. Both mechanism have to be stable for change to take effect. You got to realized that freedom comes with a price. Total freedom nowadays, as in many undeveloped countries, tells us that ratio of wealth and fairness are never evenly distributed and constant suffering by those not within the circle of power. We are not in a jungle where everyone is free to roam and then when night comes hide themselves away from predators.

Take for instance, we allowed you to continue with your show because we believe in the truth being told and I’m very honour tonight to be here. You should appreciate me being on this show because we supported it and not ban it like some country. If we do not practice such policy, your show may get cancelled for bringing up unjust sensitive issues that holds no truth or was never proven. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?

JBL: Sorry, Datuk. I may have slip just a little bit. My apology. So how does these help to rebrand your party in the first place? The general population thinks that it is the party that needs to rethink it’s approach to serve the people but instead what you have just stated, in my humble opinion means imposing laws from a ruling government capacity for the party’s shortcomings. Isn’t that a wrong use of taxpayers monies for the party’s objectives for change? You have to admit that it should be done within the party’s capabilities and resources and not with the nation resources and manpower. Does that make sense at all?

DAM: No doubt we are still ruling the country. But we have the majority who confidently voted us into parliament and entrusted us with the necessary tools and services at our disposal that includes utilizing every aspect of administration for the well being of the country.

JBL: You’re saying you have every right to direct enforcement agencies and laws for the party's benefits. But I always thought the issue is for the party to be more accommodating and tolerant to the rakyat’s needs. Even if the opposition got concrete dirt on some of your politicians, you should come out in the open and be accountable for it. Not to mention the appropriate punishment meted out.

DAM: Yes, we have all dealt with that. Our leaders will embrace the concept of total efficiencies and performance oriented without jeopardizing the party’s image. Once our rebranding exercise is completed, we will first make alliances with private corporations and multi-nationals and impart our wisdom for them to spread it further to the masses. Even our GLC’s have played a small part in our planning and they contributed significantly during our early stages of brainstorming. From thereon, we will move as one with support from every corner of the country.

JBL: Wow! I am smitten by your choice of words. In essence, your people will make sure all their tracks are well covered with no loopholes or scandals, then rally to the rich corporations maybe even subtle threat including GLC’s to buy into the idea of a cosmetic change from your party. Sounds grand, the way you put it. You said they 'will' embrace the concept. Shouldn't their mindset be changed altogether? To me, it’s just like changing your wardrobe with the latest fashion. Are you sure it will work?

DAM: Why not! We are all optimistic that it will go the way we planned it. Once we have that new image in place, it will surely generate enough support and a second look from the masses to view us as such. We want to be seen as the party with the most accommodating and sensitive to the rakyat’s futures and yet still perform. We cannot delve into the past anymore. We have to continue to move forward with better ideas to take on global challenges and properly regulated policies to safeguard this objective.

JBL: That’s like putting up a shield among yourselves. The people will only able to see you as empathetic but don’t actually feel you are because you slap them with rules that probably forbids them to question your policies, whatever they may be. Isn’t that the way for the last 50 years where our society has been one of compliant.

DAM: Regulations are necessary for a common cause in order to succeed. It is somewhat like a system where everyone play their part to make a whole product complete. And we are the product for the nation. We have done so for 50 years.

JBL: So it’s back to the old ways? Aren’t you supposed to completely break away from it since the party’s popularity is diminishing due to this concept.

DAM: Why throw away something that is not completely broken. All we need is a little tweak here and there and we will have a re-imaged and brand new perception for our party. All those little cracks and scratches will be gone once we start on our re-branding campaign. We served the country well all these years so for the rakyat and opposition, it’s a matter of viewing it from a different perspective. They are all creative and innovative efforts designed to enhance our image and take this country to the next level.

JBL: Looked like you covered all your bases. So when you start on your campaign, they will not see any leak. Basically, they will be looking at the same party with no leaks. Or like a new paint job on an old car that still drives the same, or repackage a box of chocolate with still the same bitter taste. That’s a real marvel idea. That’s why I can never be in politics.

DAM: Wait and see. You will be surprise once we go on our tour across the country to promote our new image.

JBL: Well, Datuk, our time is up. But I would love it if you will come back on our show right after the next general election. Maybe then, you will hold a Ministerial position in government.

DAM: I’m truly honour that you intend to invite me back. My messages are to the people including the opposition that we are dead serious of changing ourselves to steer this nation into a world class society and set a fine example of governing for the entire world to emulate. Thanks for the interview.

2 comments:

  1. I like Jay Leno and try to watch him every weekend on Astro 518.

    If Malaysia had our own Jay Lenos, they would all be in Kamunting.

    Hmmm .... Kamunting might be a fun place to be after all!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like Jay Leno and try to watch him every weekend on Astro 518.

    If Malaysia had our own Jay Lenos, they would all be in Kamunting.

    Hmmmmm .... not fair that only the Kamunting guards get to enjoy their humor.

    ReplyDelete